To Whatever End
by EternalAmaterasu
Summary: Riza Hawkeye would have followed him to whatever end. And up until her very end, she was his.


**This is a reupload from my other account which I am unfortunately no longer able to use. I apologize to everyone who reviewed/favorited this story last time, would appreciate it if you could do so again if its not too much trouble. God bless you guys.**

**And yeah, this is a tragedy, so don't expect a happy ending...**

* * *

><p>The dust clouds everything. His vision, his windpipe, his mind.<p>

He lets the rising coughs escape and worries why they come out muffled. He worries why there is dust surrounding him. He worries why his chest is heavy. And he worries why he is here. Roy Mustang's thoughts are a mess. Through the rapid pounding of his own pulse he hears voices calling to him. They too are muffled.

"Colonel!"

"COLONEL!"

His head is too clouded for more thinking so he calls back on subconscious instinct. But his thoughts vanish when he hears another title. All but one. _"Lieutenant."_

His voice comes out in a rasp and he coughs again. It is a struggle to breathe and his position is uncomfortable, so he attempts to lift himself onto his elbows. But he isn't able to do so, his body is too heavy – his body is _unnaturally _heavy. Something is wrong…

Soft hair tickles his cheek when he turns to look over his shoulder and he takes in the familiar scents of mint and lilac and gunpowder always there when she is close to him.

As she is close to him _now._

Roy's thoughts flood back into his pounding head and he remembers. He remembers that his hearing is muffled due to the impact of the explosion He remembers that the dust is the aftermath of it. He remembers that his chest is heavy because he had wrongly timed his breathing when it took place. And he remembers that he is here because she had thrown herself over him.

"Lieutenant," he gasps again.

No answer.

His heart thunders as he pulls himself out from under her shielding body. And he crawls, slowly, careful not to move her too much and hurt her as she is lowered to the ground.

When he has freed himself he panics. Her uniform is torn right through to her black undershirt and what remains of her military jacket is stained an ugly color. It sticks to her skin tightly, soaking up further red.

Sickness engulfs him when he sees the wound horridly stretching across her body, great enough to disguise the burns on the lower part of her back – the burns _he_ had inflicted upon her long ago. He checks her pulse. She is alive. Severely wounded, but alive-

"Colonel! We can't get through!" Fuery and Breda call again. "Are you okay?"

It takes a while for their words to sink in and his response is slow. "T-the lieutenant… she's… GET A DOCTOR!"

There is a shuffling from where his subordinates are shouting. Roy finally looks up and panic consumes him. He is surrounded by thick rubble of metal and bricks, blocked from their view.

"Yes sir," Fuery shouts. "We're going to get help! And-"

"We'll get you both out," Breda finishes. "Just hang in there!"

Their footsteps grow faint. Then there is silence.

Roy's hands begin to shake as he reaches towards his adjutant and gently turns her over. He holds her around her shoulders, careful not to touch her wounds. "Lieutenant," he says shakily. "Lieutenant, open your eyes."

But her body remains motionless.

"Lieutenant, that's an order!"

She would _never_ disobey an order.

"Damn it, Lieutenant! Come on! …_Riza!_"

Her name is almost a stranger to him, having not left his own tongue since before Ishval. And he'd hoped the day it finally did would be after he'd become Fuhrer. He'd have savoured it, for the biggest moment of his life.

The day when this forsaken country was finally at peace and he would ask her to marry him.

But that dream has now slipped so far from his grasp. He is losing her.

* * *

><p>Riza hears the faint calling of her name.<p>

The pain, however, is too great for her to answer, so following his order is difficult. But an order is an order, and an order from Roy is one she _must_ follow.

She opens her eyes to find her vision blocked. She wants to move her head back to see if it is him but the pain is too much. Her jacket feels wet and clammy and she knows it is from the dark liquid escaping her body. She has lived through so much war after all.

But the wetness on her cheek is not warm like the blood around her.

She isn't crying – she has strictly trained herself not to cry. Not over getting hurt like this. Not over _herself._ "Colonel…"

Her voice is a weak gasp, quiet like the air around her. But he hears it.

He pulls his head back and she can see again. She catches his dark eyes with her own and he looks back at her face stained with blood and dirt and his own tears.

"Colonel," she repeats but he cuts her off.

"Don't talk, just rest. It's going to be okay." His voice is calm despite the worry inside him. "Breda and Fuery have gone for help. Just hold on a bit longer."

"I'm sorry, I-"

Riza doesn't finish her sentence because her chest heaves and she begins to cough. But Roy already knows what she was going to say – that she won't be able to keep her promise of protecting him.

The one thing she has so selflessly done yet again and the reason she is lying in his arms surrounded by a pool of red.

* * *

><p>Her wounds are still angry.<p>

He makes to sear them to stop the bleeding but realizes that his glove is ripped, so he pulls it off with his mouth and reaches for the knife by his belt. Her voice stops him before he carves the transmutation circle.

"Don't, sir," she says pleadingly. She knows closing the wounds would buy her more time. Perhaps hours, maybe even _days_. But she is afraid that she will faint from the pain and won't wake up to see him again.

He knows it too, though he chooses to deceive himself in his desperation to keep her alive. "I'm going to save you."

"You already did."

There is a sense of finality in her voice and Roy knows then that there is nothing he can do.

Her body is broken.

She is dying.

Riza swallows back the metallic taste rising in her throat. "You saved me in Ishval when I wanted to give up… you took away the burden of flame alchemy… and because of you I could live on… without guilt. You didn't abandon me even when I wanted to die. You already saved me… so many times."

Her eyes are pleading, desperate, silently begging him to keep the flames at bay. Never in his life has he felt so useless.

"It shouldn't have been this way," he says coarsely. "It should have been me."

"No… You have to go on and become Fuhrer. Amestris needs you."

"But I need_ you_. We were supposed to reach the top together. I need you by my side."

She smiles sadly before her chest heaves again.

"Damn it, Riza, don't die on me now! I _need_ you!"

She fights to keep her eyes from closing. If she gives in now she won't be able to open them later. She won't see his face again.

"Colonel, I-"

"Roy," he says firmly, deciding in that moment that he detests her calling him by his rank.

"Roy," she repeats, fulfilling her unknown sense of longing for it. She is no longer lieutenant and he is no longer colonel. All restricted formalities are dropped. "Thank you… for everything."

Roy squeezes his eyes shut, unable to look at her. He shakes his head wildly. "You're here because of me. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…" his voice cracks. "Shit, I'm so _sorry!"_

"This was my choice."

"But it shouldn't have been! You said you would follow me into hell, and I was supposed to keep you safe- no, it's not even about that! I _can't_ lose you! And now… and _now_…" He forces himself to look at her. And his heart breaks. "If it weren't for this damned military-"

"Don't damn the military."

Her words surprise him. It had caused them to take countless lives, knowing that every day to pass could be their last. They were left to live with nothing but hardened guilt and they had done it all on orders, being treated like dogs.

It was hell. And she is now _dying_ because of it.

Riza smiles at the look of shock on his face. "I don't regret having joined the military, Roy, because that would mean regretting the time I got to spend with you."

Roy's vision swims and he half expects her to tell him to stop crying. He already misses the way she mocks him for being useless around water. He wants to tell her just how useless he is now and how useless he will be without her. But that would be the last thing she'd want to hear.

Her body is drastically weaker now and he can tell by her pale face that the pain is already numbing. Breda and Fuery won't make it back in time. He pads his thumb gently across her cheek and wipes a fresh tear away - one of his own. Her face is so cold.

He keeps his hand there and feels her swallow against it. She takes a tattered breath, her eyes never leaving his own. And she watches him, longingly, until he can't take it anymore.

Roy leans down and kisses her.

She can feel the metallic taste rising in her throat and silently begs it to stay down as she accepts the kiss. She kisses him back with all the love she has ever felt for him and pours every last bit of her heart into it. They had both waited so long for this moment.

She kisses him until she can't hold the blood back any longer, then pulls away to cough. Dark liquid runs from her lips and through his fingers against her cheek.

Her eyes are apologetic as she looks back up at him. And then he sees it, for the first time. How she is watching him. How she has _always_ watched him.

Her eyes are half lidded, showing all the suffering her gaze so gallantly tries to hide. But they are still just as loyal, vigilant,_ loving._ Roy pulls her to his chest and allows himself to weep. He weeps into her soft hair as he holds her close to him. His lieutenant, his Riza, his _life_.

She wants to use her last breath to tell him how much she loves him, but her ragged lungs won't let her. She only regrets it a little though because there isn't really any need.

He already knows.

He has always known.

Riza Hawkeye would have followed him to whatever end. And up until her very end, she was his.


End file.
